BOY did i ever misjudge a situation last night at drum circle. I usually pride myself on not being totally socially inept..in fact keeping quiet when i could blab just because i want to make sure I'm not taking up too much time in a group.
So..the group leader asked if anyone wanted to drum with him during meditation/journey time. First time ever, i volunteered. So he sets up a steady beat. I started doing different rhythm patterns, different accents...at one time he started drumming louder and we turned to each other..wow cool! Bonding. So after awhile it was done...i felt energized and excellent. Woo!
So afterwards while we were chatting and having treats, i said, it was great drumming with you tonight ! He said yeah, about that? When you went off on your own rhythms like that? It really broke my concentration. I know they do all kinds of different things in thailand (!!) and places, but here it's just a steady heartbeat.
i apologized (and sent him a note later on fb)..he was mellow and said he hoped I'd drum with him again sometime. Yeah RIGHT, now that I've had my handies slapped and been told to be a GOOD GIRL and not make waves!
Crap. On one hand, i feel like being the 70s feminist i am and saying no, you don't get too SHAME me for not doing things the same as you do. And then of course i realize this is not my group, i didn't ask him, and he can run his groups however he wants to. And either way i lose, because once again I'm shown that i really am clueless when it comes to behaving well among basic people and that i am best with animals or one on one..at best.. with people.
But damn, it's been a long time since i felt like such a moron.